so explain again why im purple
no
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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