At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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