Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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