sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
