dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
