OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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