why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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