Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
