Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize