I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
