on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
