shes about as inviting as chlamydia
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize