Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
