I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ketchup is God's man juice
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
