Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
