im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
