I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
