I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
