I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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