my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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