i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
