none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
A+ Viking dick
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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