I'm passing your future prison.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
