Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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