the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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