I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
