In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
