I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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