hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
