I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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