i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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