I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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