He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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