I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
