Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
