Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
