It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize