i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize