dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
