we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
