you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
