I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
