Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
