Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
What a dumb baby whore.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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