You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
