not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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