i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
