Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
