He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
well you can't waste a boner
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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