well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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