im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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