i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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