Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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