dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
