I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize