Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
