I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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