**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
