I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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