CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize