I feel like abortions should bother me more
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
