Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
