Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
